Spoiler Alert: The World Isn’t Against You

Picture it: Los Angeles, 2015. You’re single with no serious prospects. The only notifications coming to your phone are texts from the Red Cross notifying you about the Emergency Platelet Deficit. You’ve also become a constant blood donor, because 1. you’re bored 2. you need the good karma and 3. the free t-shirts are good to sleep in. You’re answering literally every phone call hoping it’s a call back from one of the hundreds (possibly thousands) of jobs you’ve applied to at this point. Life is rough. Then to make things worse, a family member passes.

I’ve shared about the roughest year of my life in the past, but at the top of the decade I want to revisit it. Not to self-loathe. Not to gloat about how far I’ve come. But to hopefully motivate anyone who can relate.

At some stages in life, sometimes it really does feel like the world is set-up like a crack in the sidewalk right as you start feeling yourself during a run. Sometimes, this attitude towards life can be conscious and manifests itself through self-harm, depression and anger. Other times it’s totally subconscious and effects our mentality i.e. applying to a job that you would be shocked to get or staying in an unhealthy relationship because you think this is the best it gets for you. We start operating from a mentality of lack and not abundance. We’re not even making the space in our lives for the things we want because we’re setting ourselves up to recover from a blow that hasn’t even slapped us in the lip yet.

What I’m trying to say is something that we’ve all heard before. Your mindset is everything. Now I’m going to say something I know we’ve all heard a Ted Talk or two about: your thoughts become your reality. Now that we’ve identified that self-sabatoge is real because you’re a human (welcome) let’s brainstorm what we can do about it.


Make a vision board for the year, regardless of how far into 2020 we are. It’s never too late to start.

Write affirmations on your mirror.

I started setting weekly goals and intentions for myself at the beginning of this year and pair it with an accompanying Bible verse. Week 1, I wrote out “You are confident” and Week 2 I wrote “You will see financial increase.” During week one I wasn’t walking around in heels carrying my own fan with my hair flowing but I did feel a different sense of confidence that I would describe as feeling enough. Week 2, both me and the hubs received some great news regarding our finances as well. I’m only about two weeks in, but what do any of us have to lose by manifesting?

Finally, and this might be the most important one:

Believe, like really believe, that you deserve it (whatever your “it” is.)

Whether you have to play “Cash Sh*t” on loop on your drive into work or you create a self-mantra that you get tatted on your rib cage, own whatever your dreams are. It’s work, but you deserve it.

Okay, so back to Los Angeles, 2015. After hours of binge-watching Living Single, several trips to bars with my best friend, and a couple of not-so-proud moments where I was looking like a character from Waiting to Exhale, I finally decided to say a very honest prayer. That prayer led to me discover self-help podcasts, which led me to change my daily habits (i.e. getting out of the house at least once a day,) which led to me to start trying new things and new more importantly new types of men (i.e. Doug,) which led me to feel worthy of all the things I wanted in life including a dope job where I get to help people, which led me to feel compelled to share with you all right now.

Full circle.

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